DIY: Activated Charcoal Face Mask

I’ve been having really bad breakouts for the past few weeks and my mud masks aren’t doing a good job at fighting the acne lately – maybe I need new masks. However, I find that nothing works as good as home made masks. So I did a little research and found that activated charcoal is great at fighting off acne and so I cracked my own little recipe.

Ingredients:
1 activated charcoal pill
1 tsp of yogurt
1/2 tsp of honey
Few drops of orange blossom water

Benefits:
1. Charcoal has natural detoxifying properties. It draws oils, bacteria and dirt out of pores which helps in fighting acne.

2. Yogurt is always my go to product during break outs. Its benefits are countless! It contains:
Zinc which is an anti inflammatory that makes it good a reducing swellings caused by acne and even out skin tones. It also has mild astringent properties to help tighten the skin tissue.
Lactic Acid smoothes rough skin, exfoliates and moisturises and is anti ageing.
Calcium helps in skin regeneration and is an anti oxidant which heals dry skin.
B-vitamins hydrates skin and makes it glow and is necessary for cell growth and skin renewal. It also protects the skin from free radicals.
All of these help in clearing acne, lighting and tightening the skin and maintaining a wrinkle free skin.

3. Honey is a natural anti bacterial which is great to prevent acne. It is full of anti ageing properties. Moisturising, soothing and clarifying (opens up pores).

4. Orange blossom water or you can use normal water, but I find this more beneficial to my skin. Orange blossom water is rich in A, C and anti oxidants. It helps in balancing skin oils, hydrates, firms and reduces redness.

Directions:

Put the charcoal pill in a small bowl and add a few drops of orange blossom water to help break it down to powder, this could take a long time. I kept hitting the pill with my spoon to break it and when it finally did, I placed it on the back of the spoon and started grinding it on the bowl like how you do with a mortar and pestol. After it became a liquid, I added my honey and yogurt and stirred.

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The mask is a silvery black colour which is very pretty must I say. No it is not staining and easy to take off, but takes a really long time to dry. I think around 45 minutes?

I applied it before my shower today and after I came it my skin was noticeably improved. My acne swelling was gone by a lot and the redness was reduced, I think I’m in love with this mask. Its not even messy!

-Panda/Deww

Single by choice…. My choice

A few weeks ago I’ve been asked out by a new friend, but of course I turned him down. I don’t know why, but I haven’t fallen for anyone for a really long time. I didn’t find it weird until Ahmad stated that its not “normal” I guess? Its not my fault though now one has been living up to my expectations hahaha :P

Usually when a guy compliments me, it attracts me to them however, this time it didn’t. Not even a little bit, even if his compliments were showering me, I couldn’t scroll up in our chat without finding a comment he said about how nice or pretty I am. Still it didn’t build any feelings in me, I didn’t want him to stop neither did I want his feelings towards me to go anywhere. The dude even ordered a book about Japan because he knew how big my love is towards Japan. It was pretty obvious that he liked me and I tried to dodge the likes he was throwing at me in every way possible. Here is something about guys: they only hear what they like and their brain does not register what they don’t like. I’ve thrown countless of comments on how I couldn’t care less about relationships and it seemed to walk right passed him, he wouldn’t even wave goodbye.

I don’t really want a relationship that would go anywhere and the way he talked showed how much he would want the love story crapp – know a girl at young age and marry and get
Kids when older so it kinda freaked me out. I don’t even want to get married for god’s sake and the thought of just being with the guy forever didn’t feel good. I don’t want to “settle down”, I’m just 17 almost 18 and I have no intentions of getting married someday and I want to be alone for some time. Like live alone and travel alone, not tied down to anyone. Just the thought of relationships is too restricting. Mainly due to how Egyptian guys love to be in control of the girl.

I don’t plan on getting into a relationship any time soon and if I do, I’ll make sure that the unfortunate guy knows that the relationship wont go anywhere and of course there must be attraction. I almost got mad at myself for rejecting the guy and question myself on how bad it could be, luckily I knew it would be really bad because I don’t like commitment.

Something that I learned about guys is that when they like someone, they see them as perfect. I don’t like being seen as perfect because I know I’m not, I’d have to keep up the person’s expectations that I know I’ll never be able to live to keep up with them plus I cant see anyone as perfect, that’s a part of myself that I really like because its built up on art; see the pretty in ugly and ugly in pretty, perfect is an illusion and I dot like it. Would that make me the bad guy in the relationship?

-Panda/Deww

Watermelon and Oatmeal Smoothie

Yay for recipes! So first of all, have a happy Ramadan! Ramadan really confuses the hell out of me, we have few hours to eat AND a lot of us end up gaining weight. Probably because were to tired to exercise and of you’re an Arab then iftar is a meal that would normally feed you for a 3 days. Surprises me how much I can feed my petite body in few hours without exploding *ka-boOOM* wahahahahahaha

However since 10th grade I lost any sense of hunger, I just eat because I like the food or I feel like eating. So for 3 years I haven’t eaten an Arab approved Ramadan meal. Though I’ve been eating a lot lately for no reason, I just find everyone eating and I join them just because I like the food available, not because I need it -.- I’ve been losing my willpower to lose weight, guise .-.

I searched some easy recipes and types of food that would fill me up so I would avoid eating, of course the internet is full of these, but being the lazy red merpanda I am, I just took the ingredient I needed and added it to whatever fruit I had and made a smoothie because throwing everything in the blender is easy and lazy community approved.

Ingredients:
3 cups of watermelon (seedless)
5 tsp of oatmeal
Agave nectar
Half a cup of water

Directions:
If your watermelon has seeds, don’t worry about it. Just pluck out as much seeds as you can get out.

Cut the watermelon on medium sized cubes. I found this size is the best but i guess it depends on the blender’s shape. Then add them in the blender

Add half a cup of water in the blender just to get everything started and easier to blend.

Blend for a while and then add 5tsp of oatmeal then blend again.

So the agave nectar is optional – I didn’t like how the oatmeal made the smoothie taste, it wasn’t bad but it made it taste more powdery? XD idk it just took away the sweetness of the watermelon so I added half a tsp and blended.

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TA DA!! That’s it, a lazy diet approved healthy smoothie! 4 cups serving

Not bad, eh? I found it really yummy and refreshing.

Tell me what you think ~~

-Panda/Dew

Ps. I blogged 2 days ago about my graduation ceremony but somehow the post got deleted, well not all of it, 70% of what I wrote got deleted FML. I’m not sure if I have the energy to retype everything again.

Fantasy

Hi guise, so I decided I wanted to share this part of me. I’ve been suffering from this for quite sometime now and I think I’m comfortable enough to talk about it now. Daydreaming has taken a huge part of my life. I think it started around 7th grade. I was in school on the swings with my friends – each one listening to whatever music that was blasting in our headphones. At that time I decided to make up a story in my head about what the song was about: me being the main character but of course joined by my favourite friends. No one liked to be alone even though at that time I had many friends, but I was still alone and I wasn’t the person I wanted to be. It never stopped since then. I would spend my breaks like this almost every day and it didn’t happen just in school, it broke its way it and came with me along car rides.

 

I think around 9th grade was the time my parents were splitting up and my dreams continued to increase because it was better than the life I was living. It was a drastic change in my life, I always felt alone and to sum it up: I was an annoying emotional teenage girl that thought what she was going through is the worst that could ever happen. However I do have a good understanding of myself, I knew that in whenever I was put in a bad situation I would instantly feel like the victim so I knew some other people were going through worse, I knew my situation could be even worse than it is but I still couldn’t remove that feeling. To get out of this I would read online non-fiction stories to see worse situations that are really happening and to make me feel grateful about my life.

 

I decided that I can daydream without the music, it allowed me to block out all the fighting and stuff that I didn’t want to hear. My daydreams were basically to impress people I wanted to notice that I’m not just boring, but the truth was I was boring. I couldn’t do any of the crap I imagined I can do. I also made up fictional characters for my support like Peter Pan had the Lost. Kids? Kinda like that. I started to create my own world in my head. I even grew up in it.

 

Later I took up cutting because not everything would be blocked with daydreams, even if they were, I’d still know that something happened. Cutting became a habit. I kinda loved doing it. My use of cutting and daydreaming continued as I decreased my crying and complaining/talking. Ever since, crying became a weird thing for me. I never really cry anymore, maybe a few tears slip during times I cant block out but I never actually cry. Crying has became a very weird thing for me, it surprised me when my friends would come and tell me they cried and I’d just think “Really? you do that? People are okay with crying?”

 

The life I created in my head was way better than the one I’m in so why not do it all the time? I don’t know, but it was like the more I daydream the more I thought maybe that would/could actually happen.

 

The dreams I used to have were changed to be more realistic to give myself hope that this could actually happen. I enjoy adding terrible situations to my daydreams. It would make me accepting of anything bad coming my way except failure and being fully alone. Currently I might face failure and I might be destroyed because I feel lost. To try to comfort and stop myself from thinking negatively I daydream.

 

I would read online fictions and re-imagine myself in the story, same with movies except if a daring part in the movie would take place, it would freak me out to the point I’d have to pause the movie for a while to calm myself down because doing what happened in the movie I’d be so embarrassed. I don’t know what is this, but it would raise a very weird feeling in me that scared me.

 

Few months ago (I’m a Senior now) I found myself dreaming 24/7 and it was out of control. I don’t know how long it went on because it made me lose sense of time. It was affecting my whole life. I would never remember the stuff I blocked out even if I had no intention of blocking out. if someone was talking to me, I would just find it impossible to concentrate. If someone would ask me to do something I’d just nod but in reality I had no idea what they told me, my brain refused to register anything during that period. It was really bad that I googled to see if it is and actual thing and came to the conclusion that it is Maladaptive Dreaming… Or it might be. I never read about it till this day. I realised that I don’t want to stop dreaming, I want it to be under my control, but never to stop.

 

I do know its becoming an unhealthy obsession, but not like smoking. It wont ruin my organs. I wont strut around smelling bad. I believe that the dreams made me smarter. I do wish for it to stop one day, just not now.

 

All I want to do is to put it under my control. I don’t want to laugh or be sad irl at something I made up in my dream. I want to put my emotions in control.

 

-Panda/Deww

Distance.

Lately i’ve been going through exam times (and still in the process). This has made me more in touch with my emotional side a lot more often than usual.
Im not seeing my friends as often , im surpressing anger and tiredness into myself , because i don’t like to burden people with my problems.

This has made me realise im a very dependand person and i hate that. I require someone to share with. I dont have much company since im an only child and being away from friends is really hitting me hard.

Not to mention, next year i have a forced gap year, since theres something wrong with my years of school blah blah. This means all my friends are off to college ….leaving me alone …. i know its selfish to ask for people to ask about me when theyre busy but it really means a lot .

Ive been in bad moods and changing my good habbits to bad. Im scared to failing my exams and my social life.

My next option is just to distance myself from others to get used to being alone.

I find it hard to open up to people now even the ones close to me and the least things bother me and i cry a lot. Im starting to like the idea of being an intovert. Because i can never get hurt.

I think its starting to be a problem but theres no way around it but to just let it pass by. Maybe its all just stress. But i dont want anyones help because people just judge.

I wish i could somehow just take the people i love to somewhere nice and away and spend time with them.

-sigh- sorry this is just a venting post i really needed to share.

Have a happy day
Cookie//Alice

Nail Polishes Reviews

I have not blogged in a really long time I don’t know what would happen when I start college -.- anyway I bought nail polishes and I’d like to share my review on them ^_^

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Essence Studio Nails Pro White Hardener
ignore my sexy baby legs in the frame I’m seriously in love with it! My nails are pretty weak and two coats of this seems to strengthen them. I use it as a base coat mainly, but its also suppose to whiten yellow stained nails it doesn’t do the best job on this one though – maybe 3-4 works but sometimes it feels to heavy on my nails. I had my nails stained for a really long time and it wouldn’t fade at all so I used this and I noticed that looking from my nails from afar – it does a good job on blurring the yellow-ness.

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You can see the polish has a cool hue to it which neutralises the stains.

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Catrice Brushed Metal Effect in 890 How I Matt Your Mother. First of all, I love the pun in the name x’D cant get over it.
The colour is a deep purple colour, reminds me of Nana Osaki. It is really pigmented but I’d recommend adding a very thin coat at first then add the second coat with the amount you usually use. This way it avoids the risk of having it melt when adding a top coat though its not really needed since it dries matt. Takes 2-3 days for it to start chipping but it mostly depends on how harsh are your daily activities. The thick brush is kind of hard to control or get the corners of the nails but i guess its what gives the polish the “metal effect.

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H&M’s Glitter Nail Polish3D Glitter. I was really excited about that one as H&M in Egypt never sold cosmetics. Its expensive selling at 59LE. Tbh I don’t understand who put these prices, lipstick, lip pens and polishes all same price. Wtf?

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It was kinda hard for me to get the hang of applying this at first and getting a lot of glitter on my nail. I figured the best way is to apply a big dot at first on the base of the nail (if you have a wide nail bed, pat and spread the dot to cover the base) then pull it upwards. The glitter looks like shattered glass which is really cute! Its a cool toned glitter (purple, blue and green. Kinda like a mermaid!). Its also pretty long lasting – I forgot my top coat at my dad’s house so I had to go on without it and it doesn’t really chip off. Maybe on some certain nails that are really curved from the sides but it actually holds up good!

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So cute, right?

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Essence Studio Nails Caring Oil. This is my first nail oil I buy and i have to say I’m impressed! It has a very yummy fruity smell, I think its apricot? But its not so strong to be annoying. It did moisturise my cuticles, I noticed they looked “healthier” but if I forget to apply the oil for a while, they get really dry and look ugly. So I guess I’ll have to keep up with it. It doesn’t absorb fast, takes a while but the shine doesn’t bother me.

I guess that’s it for now. I should post soon since I have tutorials for nail art and a Japanese soup recipe.

Buhbye!
-Panda/Deww

Art Makes Death Beautiful

#1

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I was sitting in Starbucks the other day when I saw this flower. I really liked how the dead flower looked esp beside the still alive ones. It freaked me out that I saw beauty in death. This flower died due to how the employees mistreated the plant. Though others still were alive, it made me think what if it died just to rescue the others, like sacrificed itself? Because they weren’t provided with enough water to keep them all alive. Even if they wont live healthily but they will live… Hope. Maybe that they will be treated better in the future.

Its not scaring me as much as when I first saw the beauty of the dead flower. After thinking for a while and coming to this conclusion “hope” – I find it even more beautiful.

I wonder what others think of artists. Probably something along “those people should be locked in a mental asylum” XD

#2

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This was the sky in Egypt last Tuesday. I was sitting in arabic private lesson when I saw this. My teacher could not see the beauty of the sky “its something that he sees everyday”. It wont be special until he loses it – obviously you cant loose the sky but you can loose you’re sight then it will be special. As an artist, I cant wait to have time to draw it. I just love looking at the sky. How it looks different every other hour.

I cant help but think that it looks like its hugging our Earth. Maybe because of the crap we do to it.

#3

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You know who else needs hugs? Yea, kids. Humans.

Love 146.

Humans are the most mistreated creature on Earth and what makes it worse is that the only thing able to mistreat humans are humans.

#4

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All humans are made out of mud but were not mud, were something beautiful – more precious.

Just like diamonds; its made out of the same element as graphite but its structure made it different. One is weak and the other is strong.

Humans are the strongest creatures and the only thing that can break us is other humans.

Are humans good or bad? I don’t know but like any other person I did loose hope in the good.

There are not a lot of strong people and mostly the strong people are the bad ones. Like those girls that were kidnapped, I wont say they were all good but no matter what they did not deserve to sold for sex daily just for the pleasure and money of other humans.

We might not know anything about the girl number 146 but the look on her eyes made the investigators not loose hope in helping these kids. ( if you don’t understand what I’m talking about then watch Michelle Phan’s video here http://youtu.be/u4k2whreYSI or read this love146.org)

Honestly reading stories like this makes me grateful for the not perfect life I’m living. Whenever I feel like complaining I just search the internet for stories like this. I cant offer much help except praying and raising awareness. I just think its better than just reading it and not even pressing a button to share it.

I hope number 146 is somewhere safe as long as other girls. I just wish that someday she’ll know that by not giving up she encouraged other girls not too.

There are more stories like this waiting to be discovered. Its sad to know that there are more stories similar/far worse than this taking place right now but its good to know that people are working hard to help and rescue them. Trying to make a better place for others t live.

Humans have been on Earth for so long and were still alive and giving birth. If humans were so hopeless we would’ve been extinct by now. The fact that were still alive means something – means that we should do whatever we could to help bring justice and spread hope and good deeds around.

… Chocolate is good… I demand you send me chocolate. Don’t add raisins in them please, raisins are bad XDDD

Sorry I felt like I was too deep xD

#5

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I cant help but think about Death Note. Was Light bad or good. He kind of judged people and killed them even if they were given a second chance. Like the guy that he killed to show Ray Penbers that he’s kira – the one that worked in the cafe. I think he was charged with murder and he got away with it. This guy was working which might indicate that he regretted what he had done and saw that when he got away with murder was a second chance for him to be good or maybe not. However Light shouldn’t be the one to kill him, even if he deserved to be killed. That means Light is bad? Well not exactly. Light sacrificed himself for other people to live safely. In the end of the manga, Matsuda said that the criminal rate dropped a lot when Kira was punishing criminals. So he did good for other people.

The person to use the Death Note shall not go to heaven or hell. I think the writer added this rule just because he couldn’t decide if Light should go to heaven or hell.

That’s it for today I guess, sorry for not updating for a long time.

Thank you for reading,
Panda/Dew