Torture

  

  This picture refects how I feel. 

Knowing that someone is causing her pain because she feels it, however refuses to acknowledge who is causing it by closing her eyes. Even though she deep down knows who it is. It’s complicated. She doesn’t hold grudges, she lets out her pain to be lost in the universe hoping that one day it would be forgotten.

This is my first time drawing how i feel, so I’m pretty happyy. I’m not sure how it happened. I just suddenly had a picture in my head that i needed to get out. 

  
Up on my wall with Alkina. Its quite small, but it was a doodle so its okaay. I’ll share my wall soon but when it looks prettier since I’m gonna DIY more wall decorations other than my drawings. 

~

-Panda/Deww

Body Shaming

I don’t think I’ve seen something break people more than body shaming. Its so sad and disgusting that people find the need to shame a type of body to highlight a certian type. Is it so hard for people to accept the fact that beauty doesn’t have a “model shape”? Its not an exam where you have mode answers to it wtf. I think it was last year that I saw the contestants for Miss Korea and they all looked the same. People were shocked and acted like this is unnatural. It is natural when you give someone “goals” and tell them you have to have that to be beautiful. 

  
Saying that “being skinny is ugly and real woman have curves” to make curvy woman feel happy about there body but at the same time telling skinny people that they’re ugly and not “real” just because their body type is different. 

  
A confession I saw earlier.

Omg the horrid shit that was told to her. People just forget that others do have feelings? She’s always crying because people told her no one will ever love her. Their words have affected her this bad. Why? Why the need to step on someone to make yourself feel better? No you’re not “beautiful” or “real” if you find the need to shame others in order to feel better about yourself. 

     

   Also judging have became like a second nature for some people. SOME PEOPLE JUDGE BY HOW HIGH YOUR HEELS ARE! Gladely this has never happened to me and if someone decided to judge me by how tall my heel is I’ll stick it up their butt then call them a whore for having shoes up their butt -.- isn’t it the same thing they did? They made measures that classify “what you are” and forced them on you. Utterly disgusting. 

I feel like one person makes up an idea – in this situation that woman have to be curvy to be considered femine and pretty tO BE LOVED  and then people jusy blindly cover and not stopping for a second to think about how this might affect others. One girl decided to anonymously talk about how this affects her and how she prefers to stay at home because going out scares her. Isn’t this like torturing someone? Keeping them alive but not killing them. Just distroying them. Judging should be illegal one day, hopefully soon. 

Anyway. Ending this post with a happier subject. 

 This was Alice and I in 2013
  This is us now as of 2015

Alice didn’t change much, just her eyebrow game got stronger, but look at me O.O’ so different >.<

  
Lollipop of out childhood ;__; the memories that come with the taste. 

 
🌙Picture of the moon yesterday and of course the stars are photoshopped inn xD
 -Panda/Deww

Ramadan🌙Kareem Art

I’ve been wanting to draw something Ramadan Inspired since Ramadan started but could barely come up with an idea. I just kept doodling stuff then I’d rip them out of my sketch and feel like a failure. Art has a great impact on my mood. It manages to make me feel the most worthless piece of shit ever and the most talented person ever I could be Picasso wtf. No inbetween. 

 

Alkina🌙


 I usually either let Alice or Ahmad name the girls I draw. I send them the picture and who ever answers first with a name wins. Ahmad won this time but I ended up naming her anyway wtf xD I wanted a moon-related name so I googled names. 
I imagined her while I was in the car going to a family gathering after my previous ideas managed to make me feel disappointed in myself. I imagined her a bit differently though, I pictured the moon laying under her eyes – like how Sailor Moon’s moon looks like however not on her forehead, but after drawing it I didn’t really like it. 
I used Pastel Pitt pencils to colour her and random pens to outline her. 
I’m not exactly sure why I drew her as an anime, I prefer realism. Also I suck at drawing anime. I think I improved a lot. 
Anyway, yesterday was my mum’s birthday. First we went to an Iftar with the family which not a lot of people attended this year.  


I really loved how my makeup looked like. The eyeliner came out pretty good which was a surprise since the brush wouldn’t work properly -.- 

I used The Body Shop’s Liquid Eyeliner in black. Its been my favourite eyeliner for a really long time, doesn’t budge until you rub it with water. For eyeshadow, I used The Body Shop’s Eye Colour Matte in no.10 which is a pretty neutral brown colour. I applied it only on my crease and blent it above it because my eyes are deep set and  it doesn’t show eyeshadow if i don’t blend it above. For mascara, my all time favourite is Miss Manga by L’Oreal.

 
Full face. 

  Mum’s birthday cake xD the only candle that was available was a Minnie Mouse 1 year old candle wahahahahhaha
That’s all for now ^__^ buh byee!

-Panda/Deww 

WIP: “Honey you’re a diamond” 💎 art + Video

I drew this a while ago but never got around to finishing it because I started it during exams >.< totally forgot about them until today. Just added some writing ^_^


I made two of these. First one was a tester, to see how it would look like and the other was made specially for Cookie.

 This was the first one I made. It is softer and lighter.

 

{no flash}

This one is for Cookie, its much darker and vivid than the first, I like it more (≧∇≦)

 

{Flash}


Side by side.

 “Honey you’re a 💎”

It really looks pretty on my wall, its nice to look at.

That’s it for now,  I think I should get back to drawing again. I really like water colours so I want to get better at it.

 

-Panda/Deww

I want to be a Mermaid.

^Don’t we all?

ariel bubbles

When I was a kid, my favourite Disney princess was (and still is) Ariel. I remember those times when I prayed for God to turn me into a Mermaid wahahhahaha I believed that I could somehow turn in to a mermaid. The thought of dying in a “human form” was completely impossible to me for some reason.

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However I don’t recall dreaming about a prince. I fell in love with mermaids, not the love story. I’m pretty much the opposite of Ariel, while she is fascinated by humans, I’m fascinated by mermaids. Ariel never really wanted a prince until he came along. He was like the cherry on top of her cupcake. Even in the original story, she was fascinated by humans, but wanted to become an immortal soul. When she saw the prince she decided to settle for humans though later she learnt that humans are assholes and died, which made her reborn as an immortal soul.

I loved how in Once Upon a Time they split Arial’s character into two. Ariel was the one that fell on love with a prince (on the left) and the other part named Ursula – after the Goddess of the sea – loved humans. I really enjoyed how OUAT connects all fairy tales with dark twists.

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I drew this mermaid last year, I think it was the first time for me to use watercolours. When I’m drawing or painting my talent is either majestic like in the pic above or I cant frickin’ draw lamp for the life of me. There is no in between.

Last year, I dyed my hair red to feel like a mermaid, I really loved it, but it wrecked my hair TT_TT I’m still recovering of how much of my hair fell so I never redyed it. I loved how much attention it got me, random girls stopped me to compliment it and my family excluding my dad kept commenting on how they’ve never seen someone looks better with dyed hair than their original hair colour. I honestly plan on redying when its in a better condition even though Alice’s mum might kill me for it XD she’s done quite a job returning my hair to its’ original colour.

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Strawberry head

Funny story: I was once stopped by a bald guy to ask me what colour my hair was XD and he couldn’t pronounce the “r”s so he would just repeat “Chewwy wed?” when I said “Cherry Red”.

-Panda/Deww

Alice’s 18th Birthday + Picture of us

Last Tuesday (May 19) was Alice’s birthday and we celebrated it on the right day, now this is a big deal to us since Alice is cursed with being born on exam season. Last year, I had 4 exams in 1 day wtf Q_Q I just told her happy birthday and slept off the rest of the day. The years before were similar stories, I think one time she had 6 exams in one day – we would celebrate by resting XD Now I proudly can say that in the 8 years I’ve known Alice, 2015 was the year we celebrated her birthday on the right day :”D

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We’ve been wanting to watch Home for quite a while now so we thought it would be awesome to go to the cinema. Its fucking adorable!! Jim Parsons nailed it. I think if it wasnt for him, Home wouldn’t have been as good as it is. Its just so pleasing to hear him speak and since he played Sheldon Cooper it wasn’t really hard to imagine him as an alien. The way the Booves talked was so cute, Alice and I spent the rest of the day speaking like them and since English isnt our first language it was pretty easy considering that we spent the first years of our lives speaking like this XD also the movie has the best phrases which reminded me a lot of Tumblr.

After the movie, both of us were pretty hungry so we ate at Eintsein Kaffee and ordered Alfredo Pasta and Pizza while we chatted. One thing we talked about is our love to leftovers. You know how you’re in this really good restaurant and you just wish you could live there to have an endless supply of food? Taking the rest of the food you were to stuffed to eat is the bestest. Once you go home and start to feel hungry again so you eat the rest makes us feel like there is still some magic left. There is still hope wahahahahahhaha xD

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Woohoo ~ first picture of Alice and I on our blog!

Alice is the one with the raven hair and I’m the other with whatever blonde, light brunette, dark ginger colour hair it is. I don’t know what it identifies as anymore XD originally it was a dark caramel blonde then I dyed it red for a while and then I decided to go back to blonde and now its this colour.

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I intentionally wore red and black for her birthday as they’re her favourite colours (=^-^=)

We went on a walk later and found this antique store. We want to one day be able to live together, I’ve already Imagined how we want it to look like and how many pets we’ll have xD It would’ve been really romantic if we were in love with each other except that were not and we don’t classify as romantic people. I mean Alice can get into romance with her fancy book reading, but I’m not romantic at all.

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This fountain is really pretty, we both enjoyed looking at it and hopefully one day we’ll be able to own one ~

The rest of our day was spent in Costa Coffee, which is my personal favourite cafe. They literally make the best peach iced tea. The decor is pretty retro-ish comfortable design.

IMG_6382[1]Photo on my phone is from this post

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This was pretty much our day. It was pretty fun – Alice jumped around at the end of the day while I laughed at her and a passer by coughed off his laugh XD

-Panda/Deww

WIP: Doodle Superman artwork

I drew this for my friend as a gift as he loves Superman and I thought it would be the perfect gift to show how much I love having him in my life ^~^

This is the progress the artwork went through:

1. 

 I’m a perfectionist so I like to start of with a ruler and a pencil to get everything even. 

2. 

  3. 

  
4. 

 
Doodling as a perfectionist is pretty frustrating as you’re trying to get everything to be perfect but at the same time doodling is pretty much about the mistakes? There is no right or wrong in doodles and as a perfectionist I’m constantly trying to find the “right path” as I go. I searched doodles and henna designs on WeHeartIt to get an idea of the designs I should do, even though I didn’t follow them 100%. I just repeated the parts I liked. 

4. 

 (W/O Flash) 

When I started on the doodling, I instantly panicked because th shapes werent even and I began worrying about what if he doesn’t like it and if I should just not continue it as it would be a waste of time since he would refuse to take it which I know deep down is BS. He kept telling me how much he loves it and wants to frame it, but I couldn’t remove the thought of him refusing to take it because he thinks its ugly. From the moment I held on to the blue pen till I finally let it down, my brain was literally in hell. Hurting from the painful thoughts. 

5. 

  
(W/Flash)

I think now that its finished my brain took a break, but I still have irrelevant fears of him just accepting it and not really liking it however as I’m pretty happy with how it ended I can suppress these feelings for now xD 

6.

 
I used Faber Castell artistic pens in:

Deep Scarlet Red 219***

Cobalt Blue 143***

Dark Chrome Yellow 109***

And Posca markers in white to fix any mistakes I’ve made. 

7. 

 
8. 

  This pretty much the hell that goes in my head daily. I’ve learned to live with it though :P I’m pretty proud of myself though for finishing it (^-^)