My bestie wrote this awesomesause … “Thing” – idk what is it suppose to be called, an essay on life? I would say a diary post but he’d tell me men don’t keep diaries. Annnyway 😄 I’m just gonna paste it here so you guise could read it because we both would like to share it. Buckle up your seat belts and ready yourselves since this is a long post.
He woke up thinking about her, not the girl he loves no she broke his heart a long time ago, he was thinking about his best friend, she hurt him the day before, which wasn’t the peculiar part he was used to people doing that, what really confused him was how he felt afterwards. She made him feel pathetic and that made him angry, not the feeling he used to get before, usually he felt like it was the inevitable happening “I deserve it” he thought.
No he didn’t deserve it he was a normal boy drowning in problems caused by people that didn’t care that it was overwhelming him because he listened in a world that turned listening into a lost art so they would talk about their problems and he would feel bad for them and then they would lash out because he didn’t know what to say but to him words were useless, they were just words what difference did it make if he used them for love or hate they would never actually listen the just liked the gesture and he wasn’t interested in wasting his breath. Ironically he would listen to the insults and he would let them stab him in the back and humiliate him because he didn’t know what else to do, they were all he had. For the first time in his life he was thinking “I don’t deserve this, this isn’t even my fault.” It was beautiful, after 17 years he finally understood that other people having problems didn’t justify the way he was treated. Could it be that the sessions with the therapist had actually worked? Right now that didn’t matter what mattered was his best friend he would have to fix things with her because even though it wasn’t even his fault, she was his best friend and that’s what friends do.
He felt numb, he simply felt like he did not give a fuck, and it felt exquisite he loved days like these no matter what happened today it wouldn’t matter. He called his dad, who took his time to make fun of him for going to a therapist, he told him that his sister was really upset and that he should call her and make sure she was okay. After it was done he felt nothing, no anger, nothing I guess the world does grant some wishes. He thought of death but he proceeded to think about his dream of a small house with a dog and a wife that made going home something to look forward to, it wasn’t much but it was what happiness and freedom looked like. “I wish people would realize that happiness is simple it’s basically just loving what you’re doing.” Maybe happiness is what you think you can never get or was that greed? He could never tell. He was going about his normal daily routine when he saw that the girl he liked had texted him, he still felt numb so he didn’t get that usual happy feeling, I guess there’s a downside to everything. He texted her back thinking about what his therapist told him “Pick the girl that supports you” he had said he wondered if she was the supportive type, she had listened to him when he was actually talking to her and she was opening up to him. It’s funny how the world works. He met her through a mutual friend, Courtney, her best friend, incidentally Courtney’s other best friend Courtney 2, which is what he liked to call her for obvious reasons, had told him she wasn’t interested in being his friend the first met because “It’s enough I have to listen to Courtney talk about you I don’t want to have to talk to you to.” He told her he wasn’t interested in talking to replicas so she needn’t worry her little head, which earned him a death stare but it was definitely worth it. The girl he liked, Jennifer was really cool and she obviously liked what he had to say, he wasn’t sure if she liked him back or not, to him it didn’t really matter that much he always thought he was lucky when he liked a girl because it always meant she was special and having someone special in your life should always cheer you up.
His opinions were usually weird; he also saw no point in keeping things a secret he simply didn’t care if people said things about him anymore. Why should I care about the judgment of people I would never have as friends. He went to his room to read his head was flooded with his own thoughts, he needed something to ground him and a book seemed like the perfect solution, but while he was looking for a book he was contemplating how he had come to accept his flaws he hoped others would do the same. Maybe I’ll end up saving the world, God knows they need saving.
P.S. He got an A* in English second lang.
PP.S. I used to copy his homework.
PPP.S. I got a B, wtf 😄