Losing a friend…

Losing a friend is hard. Especially when you’ve done a lot to them and be treated back with Ungratefulness and realising how shameless the person is. I wasn’t hurt however. I knew from the start that our friendship wouldn’t have lasted, but still I was disappointed.

I received her as a shipwreck and did my best to fix her back and I did a pretty good job even though I didn’t get to finish my work. I’m pretty proud of myself.

Knowing that she needed a lot of help, I still wanted to befriend her and help her out through her rough time. I continuously ignored my friends warning of being near her and stood up for her, reasoning that she was lost and is finally finding her way back on the road.

Being beside her made me happy, not just because I was helping someone but because she unknowingly made me stronger. I didn’t expect to receive shit from this friendship as I knew she was too broken to lend a helping hand and I was okay with that, but know she has something of mine that wont help her any way possible, but you still insist on ignoring me and wont give it back. I did not expect this shameless-ness or rudeness from her.

I expected to be hurt from the way she’s acting and surprisingly enough I’m not. I cannot wait to get my wallet back from her to finally cut all strings that keeps us together. It would relief me from that rage and anger I hold towards her.

As if God is trying to tell me not to care about her, he sent me one of her friends to wish me a new year and just by that he becomes a good friend of mine. He might not be the best person to befriend, but he respects me and faces what he did wrong instead of pretending to be a good person.

“I don’t regret one bit that I let you in my life, though I deeply hope that you would tilt your hear down and look at the gold ring on your finger that I gifted you and feel it burn with shame you should be feeling.”

I really wish she would come back and apologise – no I wont lend her my friendship again but at least I would know that she believes I’ve don’t good for her. I know I did good for her, I don’t need a confirmation. I just want to know it didn’t go to a waste.

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-Panda/Deww

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