Busy (Warning: Extreme Rant)

I know i haven’t uploaded much at all. Im not quite good at sharing my feelings most of the time, but this time its okay to say i should blow some steam.

Going into uni has changed some stuff. Its a big place and lots of effort is to be put in, and this effort takes time. People, more importantly friends, have been getting caught up in their own schedules.

Being sort of sentimental and not very welcome of change , ive tried to pretend om not very bothered by it. But sometimes i feel sort of forgotten. Left out of cliques and outing and its supposed to be a new start to getting new friends. People don’t really welcome people in much to their little cirlces , they are usually just engaged on an academic level but not very much socially.

I decided that i need to talk more and try, despite that it failed. Very little success at expanding the pool of people to be even aquainted with.

That sends me a feeling that i either depend too much on people or that ive just got to give up trying .

I dont really feel that close to the people im close with, i feel like im going to be left behind sooner or later. Everyone moves on. Everyone seems to have stuff that theyre engaged in. I even started to think back to sometimes when i lost close friends, how different would it be to not have left them or how it wouldve been if we’d stayed friends.

Its really haunting the feeling that you always care more than others. That its back to small talk and not much else. It hurts to feel like you’ve been forgotten and that you really are only remembered on convinience.

Being alone and lonely differ.Its not pretty being the latter, but its even worse when youre surrounded by people and no one even looks.
I don’t like to expect things from people, or about anything. Feeling like a burden when they think they should talk and keep up is a drag. I just hope i can invest into something that would turn this around or try atleast.

Thank you, if you’ve even made it down here. Have a cookie.

-K (Alice, Cookie)

Beach Pictures.

Last time i went to the beach, I captured these photos , it was i think 8 am  and there was no one. The beach was all mine at the time and I felt like i should grasp the chance and take some shots. (These are unedited pics as well).

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     (Heres one panorama pic as well)

Just thought it looked so serene ~
Enjoy them ×
-Cookie

Beach Pictures.

Last time i went to the beach, I captured these photos , it was i think 8 am  and there was no one. The beach was all mine at the time and I felt like i should grasp the chance and take some shots. (These are unedited pics as well).

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    (Heres one panorama pic as well)

Just thought it looked so serene ~
Enjoy them ×
-Cookie

Red eye Makeup 

I’ve been loving red eyeshadows for quite a while but never really had the chance to try it out as I thought I don’t own one but apparently I do wtf. My 88 color palette cool matte eyeshadow has this brownish looking colour but its actually reddish. 

  

  • The Body Shop’s Instablur all-in-one primer
  • lancôme’s Teint Idole Ultra 24H foundation in no. 01 Beige Albatre
  • Maybelline’s Clear Smooth All In One Shine Free Cake Powder in no. 01 Nude Beige
  • bH Cosmetics 88 Color Palette Cool Matte Eyeshadow
  • The Body Shop’s Liquid Eyeliner in no. 1
  • Catrice Kohl Kajal pencil in no. 040 White

I love this look to be honest, especially this day I looked really pretty – its shame I didn’t take more photos >.< I was already late

{I just blent in the red all over my eye lid and blent it away to make my eyes look longer. To highlight, I’d suggest avoiding white. I used a very small amount of shimmery pink eyeshadow on the brow bone and the middle of my eyelid and blent it really well}
Yesterday I repeated the same makeup look, because I woke up at 9am and had nothing better to do than play with makeup. However, I changed it up a bit. 

  
I used a purple eyeshadow before the red on the outer V of the lid to give more depth and used Wet’n’Wild’s megaprotein Mascara on my lower lashes only.

  
The Body Shop’s instablur primer could actually be used as an eyeshadow primer, makes the eyeshadows more vibrant and it makes all of my make up last longer so it would probably do the same with eyeshadow 😛

  
I added a little bit of Catrice’s Sun Glow Matte Bronzing Powder for Light Skin alond my jawline and sides of my nose and Wet’n’Wild’s coloricon lipliner in no. 712 Willow to my lips.


Camwhore attack!

  
My eyes looks like some kind of thorned rose wtf

  
Why does half of my face look better than all of my face? x.x

  
  
That’s it I guess, I don’t want to turn this blog to place of unprofessional selfies. Maybe one day I’ll learn to take good professional photos of my makeup that I wouldn’t be embarrassed to post (^^,)

  

Dress Shopping 

I’ve been wanting a new maxi dress since forever! I think everyone should own at least 1 maxi dress because they’re so comfortable and they could easily make you look dolled up without any effort. 
So I went to Cairo Festival Mall to shop. Was pretty happy about the amount of sales there tbh and it wasn’t crowded till the point you would want to scream bloody murder for people to walk faster. I mean why? Why do people like to stand infront of store doors like either get in or get your ass movin’. Anyway the crowd was still there but not as annoying as it would normally be considering that I went at around 10pm and there was a sale. 
Here is what I bought~

  
This is from Reserved. The dress’ top isn’t suppose to be loose like this, but I’m short so I had to pull the elastic waist thingie up so I wouldn’t smash my face. 

  
Crochet dress from American Eagle. This dress was a last piece and it was only available in size medium, however this happens to work in my favour as the dress shouldn’t be this long actually. It looked like it should hang between feet and knees which I personally think would look super effin’ awkward. Like imagine someone asking of your dress is suppose to count as long or short and you just stand there sweating like and idiot because the dress comes half way wtf what is this length called, average? The perks of being a tiny human is that this is dress is a long dress on me. 
  
In the fitting room, I found this awesome thing. Its a button that turns on a blinker outside your fitting room so that it would alert the person sitting in the fitting room area folding random clothes (idk what the job is called wtfbbq) that you need their help. Idk if this is available normally in other countries but it sure doesn’t here in Egypt. 
  
I went for a coffee break, because I had a blazing headache and I couldn’t locate Brioche Dorée so I hate to settle for Starbucks. Turned out pretty well since they had a new cookie crumbs frappé added and it tastes so goooooooood. 

   
 
I continued my shopping from there but I didn’t buy anything more. These head pieces were adorable but fucking expensive for just little things BUT camwhoring is free so screw it. 

The hat would’ve looked amazing with the crochet dress but *sob sob*

  

So on an unrelated topic

  
My sister sent me this, any spn fans here?

I’m born in August, my parent would be Rowena! Dude I’m fucked up. Rowena? This is the most evil character ever on the show! She literally sold her son for three pigs, I have no idea what she would do with me >.<

~  

 

Torture

  

  This picture refects how I feel. 

Knowing that someone is causing her pain because she feels it, however refuses to acknowledge who is causing it by closing her eyes. Even though she deep down knows who it is. It’s complicated. She doesn’t hold grudges, she lets out her pain to be lost in the universe hoping that one day it would be forgotten.

This is my first time drawing how i feel, so I’m pretty happyy. I’m not sure how it happened. I just suddenly had a picture in my head that i needed to get out. 

  
Up on my wall with Alkina. Its quite small, but it was a doodle so its okaay. I’ll share my wall soon but when it looks prettier since I’m gonna DIY more wall decorations other than my drawings. 

~

-Panda/Deww

Body Shaming

I don’t think I’ve seen something break people more than body shaming. Its so sad and disgusting that people find the need to shame a type of body to highlight a certian type. Is it so hard for people to accept the fact that beauty doesn’t have a “model shape”? Its not an exam where you have mode answers to it wtf. I think it was last year that I saw the contestants for Miss Korea and they all looked the same. People were shocked and acted like this is unnatural. It is natural when you give someone “goals” and tell them you have to have that to be beautiful. 

  
Saying that “being skinny is ugly and real woman have curves” to make curvy woman feel happy about there body but at the same time telling skinny people that they’re ugly and not “real” just because their body type is different. 

  
A confession I saw earlier.

Omg the horrid shit that was told to her. People just forget that others do have feelings? She’s always crying because people told her no one will ever love her. Their words have affected her this bad. Why? Why the need to step on someone to make yourself feel better? No you’re not “beautiful” or “real” if you find the need to shame others in order to feel better about yourself. 

     

   Also judging have became like a second nature for some people. SOME PEOPLE JUDGE BY HOW HIGH YOUR HEELS ARE! Gladely this has never happened to me and if someone decided to judge me by how tall my heel is I’ll stick it up their butt then call them a whore for having shoes up their butt -.- isn’t it the same thing they did? They made measures that classify “what you are” and forced them on you. Utterly disgusting. 

I feel like one person makes up an idea – in this situation that woman have to be curvy to be considered femine and pretty tO BE LOVED  and then people jusy blindly cover and not stopping for a second to think about how this might affect others. One girl decided to anonymously talk about how this affects her and how she prefers to stay at home because going out scares her. Isn’t this like torturing someone? Keeping them alive but not killing them. Just distroying them. Judging should be illegal one day, hopefully soon. 

Anyway. Ending this post with a happier subject. 

 This was Alice and I in 2013
  This is us now as of 2015

Alice didn’t change much, just her eyebrow game got stronger, but look at me O.O’ so different >.<

  
Lollipop of out childhood ;__; the memories that come with the taste. 

 
🌙Picture of the moon yesterday and of course the stars are photoshopped inn xD
 -Panda/Deww