The Price

 

31/12 /15 rain


 Around 9th grade I started noticing how a lot of people my age are passing away. Car accidents were really popular around that time and the people who passed away were fortunately just faces to me. I didn’t know any of them but I could have. They were friends of my friends and couldve easily been mine’s too if I was more social. I didn’t want to make a lot of friends. I was scared if I had a lot of friends I’d lose them to death. So I avoided it. 

I think it was around 12th grade that i thought the way I’m thinking is completely irrational and that people die anyway I shouldn’t let this stop me from making friends. I’m now in college and one of the first people I get close too is super sick. I feel like this is a way fate is punishing me in. Its weird that I feel guilty – like I’m the reason his life might end. He didn’t discover disease until we started getting close. Is this possible? That I could be the cause.. I mean I know deep down that this makes no sense but its a feeling that has been bugging me and I needed to let it out. 

I always believed that life had an algorithm it goes by and people just have to cope with the situations until it ends so maybe his disease isn’t a part of my life? Its his to face and too me its just a situation where I show if I’m a worthy friend. I used to think of myself as a weak person because I couldn’t stand up for my friends but lately I’ve changed a lot. Maybe my role here is to prove myself as a good friend. Stand up next to a friend who needs support. I cant really provide much except support it just feels like I should be able to do more because I see him almost daily. I’m not as involved as it feels. 

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Body Shaming

I don’t think I’ve seen something break people more than body shaming. Its so sad and disgusting that people find the need to shame a type of body to highlight a certian type. Is it so hard for people to accept the fact that beauty doesn’t have a “model shape”? Its not an exam where you have mode answers to it wtf. I think it was last year that I saw the contestants for Miss Korea and they all looked the same. People were shocked and acted like this is unnatural. It is natural when you give someone “goals” and tell them you have to have that to be beautiful. 

  
Saying that “being skinny is ugly and real woman have curves” to make curvy woman feel happy about there body but at the same time telling skinny people that they’re ugly and not “real” just because their body type is different. 

  
A confession I saw earlier.

Omg the horrid shit that was told to her. People just forget that others do have feelings? She’s always crying because people told her no one will ever love her. Their words have affected her this bad. Why? Why the need to step on someone to make yourself feel better? No you’re not “beautiful” or “real” if you find the need to shame others in order to feel better about yourself. 

     

   Also judging have became like a second nature for some people. SOME PEOPLE JUDGE BY HOW HIGH YOUR HEELS ARE! Gladely this has never happened to me and if someone decided to judge me by how tall my heel is I’ll stick it up their butt then call them a whore for having shoes up their butt -.- isn’t it the same thing they did? They made measures that classify “what you are” and forced them on you. Utterly disgusting. 

I feel like one person makes up an idea – in this situation that woman have to be curvy to be considered femine and pretty tO BE LOVED  and then people jusy blindly cover and not stopping for a second to think about how this might affect others. One girl decided to anonymously talk about how this affects her and how she prefers to stay at home because going out scares her. Isn’t this like torturing someone? Keeping them alive but not killing them. Just distroying them. Judging should be illegal one day, hopefully soon. 

Anyway. Ending this post with a happier subject. 

 This was Alice and I in 2013
  This is us now as of 2015

Alice didn’t change much, just her eyebrow game got stronger, but look at me O.O’ so different >.<

  
Lollipop of out childhood ;__; the memories that come with the taste. 

 
🌙Picture of the moon yesterday and of course the stars are photoshopped inn xD
 -Panda/Deww