Beach Please

I could start every blog post from now on with how its long over due and blame it on college which isn’t true because I’m a procrastinator, meaning that I had multiple occasions where I could have updated this goddamn blog but chose admire my bedroom’s ceiling instead. Seriously though, I’ve wasted so much time this year just laying in bed and enjoying the beauty of my ceilling while day dreaming about me having a life. Which I do have a life I just choose to ignore it and lie in bed. Beds are addicting, I gotta tell you that.

Moving onn. I think it was after our midterms when Alice and I decided to go to Sukhna (Egypt) for a day with friends. It was a really good and needed day in my life. We got to rest … While making fun of our professors by the beach. sighhh

 

The amount spent fishing that day was ridiculous; close to 9 hours maybe ? Oh god I don’t even want to count. Kinda glad I don’t fish. It was another friend who supposedly fishes all the time. He ended up catching a pathetic looking fish – no discrimination against any fish though XD It was so embarrassing, I mean I wouldn’t have been surprised if we would have fished a “it’s not me, its you” note from the ocean. We tried all typed of baits available and it was obvious the ocean hated us. At least I learned how to open shells.

We collected a lot of cute looking shells and rocks that come to think of it now – our friend took them home and we haven’t seen them since ūüėź along the way, we found a tiny crab (?) that we named Shelldon and gave him an empty shell as gf in order to trick him into poking outside of his shell.

 

-Panda/Deww

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Vanishing Freedom

It feels like little by little the control I have over my life is being stripped away and its not like I have much control over it any ways, but it does matter to me. I barely have a lead on anything thats going on with my life but I thought at least I can enjoy the little things that make me happy. Like rain. It rarely rains in Egypt so I would soak in it in the few days it rains over here and now he wants to take that away from me too? I’m getting bottled up and I have no idea how I’ll explode this time. One thing I know for sure is that my explosion would do only worse for me and it wont affect any one else. I thought starting college will give me my own life but it didn’t. It just takes up hours of my day, nothing more. My life is still under the invasion of my family and I have no idea if I’ll ever be free from this but I’d like to think positively of my future… Its whats keeping me breathing.

Even though I’ve already started college I cant stop my day dreams of me being a different person in college. Its not like I can easily change the real me to fit the cookie cutter of the person I made in my head.

I’m not sure how I’ll survive college. The only thing I used to be good at is drawing – its what made me unique. Now I’m thrown in with a bunch of other potential artists so that makes me not interesting at all. If anything, I’m less. They all have trophies to remind them of the things they’ve done while I’m just sitting there realised that I’ve pretty much done nothing in my life. I can’t even change that because my only talent was art which I know that I’m not so good at and I accept this, I just hate how much of a no-lifer I am.

You know what I would like for to happen? If this blog became famous. When I first started this blog I wanted to be like¬†Xiaxue; I know that its like aiming for the stars, but this blog was a part of my day dreams. I’m not sure if I can make this blog big, but I enjoy blogging so I’ll keep going and see where this will go.
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-Panda/Deww

Last Walk On The Beach. {photography}

Green Beach, North Coast, Egypt
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I took these photos on my last day there, before we started on our trip back home, we decided to take a walk on the beach. The Beach was extra green this time, usually its of a beautiful turquoise colour – you know the kind of blue you see in instagram photos. I don’t mind the green though, it matched the name of the place.

I hoped to find relaxation on this trip as I would start college as soon as I returned back to Cairo, sadly I didn’t get relax as much as I want too. I wanted a carefree time but for some reason I’ve been having a hard time not worrying. My anxiety is going crazy these days and its not because of college, hopefully I’ll figure out what is exactly happening to me soon.


-Panda/Deww

Blog-tember Challenge Day 10

Thursday, Sept. 10:¬†10¬†items off your bucket list. If you haven’t made one, now’s a good time to start!

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  1. Travel to Japan
  2. Learn Japanese and many other languages 
  3. Visit historical places in Egypt
  4. Buy and design my own house
  5. Take the mother and travel around the world
  6. Play paint twister with friends
  7. Visit Harry Potter World in Osaka, Japan
  8. Visit Wizard of Oz in North Carolina
  9. Meet Michelle Phan
  10. Go to a themed party 


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Blog-tember Challenge Day 8

God, my life has been so messed up this month and it just started TT_TT almost forgot about the challenge

Tuesday, Sept. 8: Tell us about your favorite season. Why is it your favorite and what does it say about you?”

A few years ago I would have instantly replied with Summer. Now I honestly have no idea plus its not like I have to have a favourite season, yes? My love to Summer changed since the weather in Egypt is getting more fucked up every year. Last year in Winter supposedly, the weather wasn’t even cold? It was the best weather I experienced tbh but everyone was complaining that its December and its not cold so I joined in with complaining even though I secretly enjoyed it >:D the best way to describe the weather is that it was pool weather in the morning and sweater weather at night. It was the perfect combo of Summer and Winter. Even in the morning it wasn’t hot enough to make you sweat or for the humidity to turn you into Mufasa – it was hot but it didn’t burn you and the night would be chilly enough for you to wear your nice sweaters and enjoy your sweater paws or flippity flappy sleeves¬†so you can slap some friends. I think February was I different story though, we were freezing our asses off. It felt like God was blowing liquid nitrogen on us, tryin to make some frozen humans perhaps.

Kanye flavoured ice cream

This Summer (yes I know all countries are experiencing Autumn now but in Egypt we just have two seasons) its been a rehearsal for us so we’d know what we’d do when were in hell wtf -.- its either super humid or super dry, both share one thing in common, blazing sun.

I just wish that we have more of last year’s December weather, It was my favourite. As for what my favourite season is, I just don’t have a favourite season, maybe I’ll prefer Summer because of the vacation.


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-Panda/Deww

Blog-tember Challenge Day 2

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Wednesday, Sept. 2: Describe your ideal day. Where would you go and what would you do?

Describing and ideal day is super hard for me. I personally prefer day that is unplanned but goes well? Also my ideal day would change depending on my mood, its like I’m different personalities stuck in one tiny body. One thing that all these personalities have in common though is cherishing calmness. I’m not a person who hates large gathering and stuff, but I would need some me time every once in a while.

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A place that holds a special place in my heart is Green Beach in North Coast, Egypt. I used to go there every summer with my cousins so every inch of this place holds a special memory.

Since this would be describing the ideal day then I damn well want a good weather! Last time I visited was 2 weeks ago I think and there was a heat wave in Egypt, Since this a place with a beach the humidity was awful. I like a weather that is sunny (even though I’m not a fan of the sun, it plays a huge role on my mood -.-) but not hot and chilly at night. Its like enjoying a beach day in the morning and a sweater weather at night, best of both worlds XD

I usually don’t go out in the morning to avoid risk of blacking out caused by the sun glaring at me so I just have a small breakfast or maybe just some while checking my social media accounts until 3pm and then I hit the beach. I like to have someone with me, but someone who I’m really comfortable around. Those people who I can enjoy comfortable silence and not feel any awkwardness or a bugging voice in my head telling me to find something to talk about or this person will find me boring.

Usually after the beach, everyone is hungry so we drive somewhere to eat and then go back to the chalet to rest or walk along the beach.

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isn’t the view breathtakingly beautiful? I sit there until its 3-4 in the morning then go back to the chalet to sleep. However if I’m lucky enough, there is this “fountain” that looks like huge rocks stacked together that I climb and sit on top. The fountain never actually worked, like ever! and we shouldn’t sit on it since its possible that we could fall and face some injuries, but I’ve been climbing it since I was a kid, my only problem is that some security men us and ask us to leave -.-

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The view from what my cousins and call “The Rock”.

Another type of ideal day is when I accomplish something.

IMG_1967IMG_1975 IMG_1815 Finishing an art project after hours of working on it, writing about how I feel so I can understand myself more and maybe even makeup shopping.

A simple salmon temaki could be my lunch with coffee or hot chocolate and of course chocolate to fill me up and spend the rest of whats left of the day daydreaming and then pay one of my favourite coffeeshops a visit with my parents.

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A more adventures side of me would be to go somewhere completely new and unplanned with My best friends which usually ends up in a fail and we laugh about it.

-Panda/Deww

PST – Harry Potter event {Bellatrix Inspired outfit} + Blog-tember Challenge Day 1

Last Saturday, I was invited to a Harry Potter event held by PST (Patient Support Team). Its a non-profit organisation made by a group of medical students from Cairo’s University that donates all the money it makes to local hospitals.

The acceptance letter + Marauder’s Map

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The letters are super cute and definitely something I’ll keep for memories. The necklaces are both mine, Alice purchased the time turner for me x3

The letter opener was made by mum in 1993 during christmas, I’m not sure if she actually made it or just engraved the lettering on it.

Makeup + Hair + Outfit

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Super Dark like Bellatrix and I crimped the hair to me have her messy hair. Something I really like about the villains in Harry Potter is that their outfits isn’t something that would take them 40 minutes every morning to do like in other movies, except that bitch Umbridge.

I arrived 2 hours late for the event because my sister had an event also I’m confused why would they start at 12pm on a really hot and sunny day? I got so dizzy after a few hours that I had to leave. What I missed in these two hours was the house sorting, quite sad as I wanted to know how they chose houses for each person. I think since they had our names before the event, they had the houses sorted already.

Chess

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Horcrux Hunt

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Basically,you just form a team and then you would all work together to find all the horcrux then give them back so they would hide them again and another team would go in to look for them. I didn’t enter since I mentioned how sunny it is and even though I love the sunlight, my body refuses it so bad. I get dizzy and possibly would have to deal with a painful asthma attack, I guess this how a vampire feels when in sunlight? However my friend tried it out and he said its actually pretty hard to find the horcrux.

Goblet of Fire

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They had a movie night organised which I left before it started, so you would just vote for the movie you wanted to play and put it in the goblet of fire.

Duals

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I lost against him x.x first thing he said was you wouldn’t last two minutes in harry potter books XD I’m not gonna argue with that though, there are to many spells to memories and I can barely remember my friends’ names wahhahahhahaha I’d probably just stab people with my wand.

The People

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Me + The flying Hogwarts letters

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IMG_2105Flying Keys. I like how they paid attention to the decorations.
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Professor Trelawney. She was my favourite cosplayer there o.o

IMG_2156Professor Dumbledore looking fucking judgemental XD
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Neville Longbottom ‚̧ He looks adorable. Can we also note how short am I considering I’m wearing a mile-high heels?

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Thats all I did in the event. Honestly It could have been way better but it wasn’t well organised, they did mention that they didn’t expect this much of people to want to attend so I’m guessing this is what made it so messy? It would be much better if they repeat it during the winter considering that the movies were all filmed in the winter so we would be able to stand wearing costumes. I wanted to cosplay Ron (who else is a Ron fan? 0_0) but I’d have to wear a wig and being asthmatic, I avoid anything that would cause my body to cook during the Summer wtf.

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The 2015 Blog-tember Challenge

I’ve been wanting to join in one of those blogger challenges forever and I finally have the chance and I’m not gonna fucking let it go m(@,..,@)m

This one is by braveloveblog, THANK YOU FOR THE CHALLENGE :3

Day one is “Tuesday, Sept. 1: Introduce yourself however you like! Pics, vlog, collage, your choice :)”

un-edited photo of me 0.0#

un-edited photo of me 0.0#

My real name is Nada not Dew. Its an arabic name which means Dew, I use Dew to go by online as usually all the people that I chat with are foreigners and get really confused when I mention that my name is Nada as it means nothing in Spanish I think? But I can assure you that my parents did not hate me this much to name me Nothing wtfbbq.

I’m 19 years old now, my birthday was on The 26th (August) which kinda sucked if you’re wondering xD I was born in Egypt but moved to Kuwait when I was 6 months old due to my father’s work. We moved back to Egypt when I was 8 years old because my granny had cancer, may her soul rest in peace now ._.

In School, starting from 5th grade I always had to deal with the trouble of fitting in. I was always this shy and quite person and I still am due to my anxiety so hopefully this will be fixed in College as now I have an understanding of myself so I’d know how to deal with myself.

Despite not being able to travel a lot in my life¬†so far¬†I have dreams to travel the world, starting with Japan. I used to watch a buttload of anime as a kid and around 8-9th grade I started going back to anime which sparked my interest about Japan and ever since then I’ve been dreaming to travel to Japan. I didn’t really have much friends and no one shared interests with me until Alice came along and I was really thankful for this, especially Death Note since its what made us start talking again after she transferred schools.

Since I didn’t really have much friends my whole life was spent online, its when I discovered my Idol now, Michelle Phan. Her Poker Face make up tutorial was the first makeup tutorial I watch and it instantly grabbed my attention. I used to spend hours before I sleep to watch her videos and this happened daily. Its amazing to watch her grow up now and see her become this successful person, I want to be like her someday ‚̧ My second Idol has to be Emma Watson, I love how she stood up for feminism and how strong she is.

Spending hours of my life watching Michelle Phan made me want to do videos like her, but because I didn’t have the the talent, the equipment or the courage¬†and I don’t have money tbh to go through doing a video it never happened, however it was through her that I learned about¬†Xiaxue¬†and through her I was introduced to blogging. I asked Alice to join me in creating this blog and she joined in while my best friend Ahmad supported the Idea. I still remember how fast my heart was beating from fear and I’m pretty proud of myself that I went through it.

One of my biggest problems in my life is me, I’m an over-thinker. I think about everything that could possibly (and sometimes impossible) to happen. It’s kind of a defence mechanism to protect myself, however I’m so deep in that I scare myself. I had a rough 7 years and still going and my ideas of coping was to expect everything so I can deal with whatever is thrown my way and escapism. Escapism is a huge part of my life that I’m scared I might develop a multiple personality disorder, but I doubt I’ll ever stop it as I do love it tbh.

That’s all I can think of right now, this is already a pretty long post ^_^ I hope you enjoyed it and if you’re joining the challenge link me so we could learn more about each other or maybe even become friends :O you never knoww…

-Panda/Deww