Busy (Warning: Extreme Rant)

I know i haven’t uploaded much at all. Im not quite good at sharing my feelings most of the time, but this time its okay to say i should blow some steam.

Going into uni has changed some stuff. Its a big place and lots of effort is to be put in, and this effort takes time. People, more importantly friends, have been getting caught up in their own schedules.

Being sort of sentimental and not very welcome of change , ive tried to pretend om not very bothered by it. But sometimes i feel sort of forgotten. Left out of cliques and outing and its supposed to be a new start to getting new friends. People don’t really welcome people in much to their little cirlces , they are usually just engaged on an academic level but not very much socially.

I decided that i need to talk more and try, despite that it failed. Very little success at expanding the pool of people to be even aquainted with.

That sends me a feeling that i either depend too much on people or that ive just got to give up trying .

I dont really feel that close to the people im close with, i feel like im going to be left behind sooner or later. Everyone moves on. Everyone seems to have stuff that theyre engaged in. I even started to think back to sometimes when i lost close friends, how different would it be to not have left them or how it wouldve been if we’d stayed friends.

Its really haunting the feeling that you always care more than others. That its back to small talk and not much else. It hurts to feel like you’ve been forgotten and that you really are only remembered on convinience.

Being alone and lonely differ.Its not pretty being the latter, but its even worse when youre surrounded by people and no one even looks.
I don’t like to expect things from people, or about anything. Feeling like a burden when they think they should talk and keep up is a drag. I just hope i can invest into something that would turn this around or try atleast.

Thank you, if you’ve even made it down here. Have a cookie.

-K (Alice, Cookie)

Watermelon and Oatmeal Smoothie

Yay for recipes! So first of all, have a happy Ramadan! Ramadan really confuses the hell out of me, we have few hours to eat AND a lot of us end up gaining weight. Probably because were to tired to exercise and of you’re an Arab then iftar is a meal that would normally feed you for a 3 days. Surprises me how much I can feed my petite body in few hours without exploding *ka-boOOM* wahahahahahaha

However since 10th grade I lost any sense of hunger, I just eat because I like the food or I feel like eating. So for 3 years I haven’t eaten an Arab approved Ramadan meal. Though I’ve been eating a lot lately for no reason, I just find everyone eating and I join them just because I like the food available, not because I need it -.- I’ve been losing my willpower to lose weight, guise .-.

I searched some easy recipes and types of food that would fill me up so I would avoid eating, of course the internet is full of these, but being the lazy red merpanda I am, I just took the ingredient I needed and added it to whatever fruit I had and made a smoothie because throwing everything in the blender is easy and lazy community approved.

Ingredients:
3 cups of watermelon (seedless)
5 tsp of oatmeal
Agave nectar
Half a cup of water

Directions:
If your watermelon has seeds, don’t worry about it. Just pluck out as much seeds as you can get out.

Cut the watermelon on medium sized cubes. I found this size is the best but i guess it depends on the blender’s shape. Then add them in the blender

Add half a cup of water in the blender just to get everything started and easier to blend.

Blend for a while and then add 5tsp of oatmeal then blend again.

So the agave nectar is optional – I didn’t like how the oatmeal made the smoothie taste, it wasn’t bad but it made it taste more powdery? XD idk it just took away the sweetness of the watermelon so I added half a tsp and blended.

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TA DA!! That’s it, a lazy diet approved healthy smoothie! 4 cups serving

Not bad, eh? I found it really yummy and refreshing.

Tell me what you think ~~

-Panda/Dew

Ps. I blogged 2 days ago about my graduation ceremony but somehow the post got deleted, well not all of it, 70% of what I wrote got deleted FML. I’m not sure if I have the energy to retype everything again.